Fear doesn't announce itself. It shows up as underpricing, saying yes to everything, and never hiring.
When you name the fear out loud, you take away its power.
Before we build anything, I want to name what's in the room. Starting or growing a business brings up a lot: fear of failure, fear of judgment, fear of running out of money, fear of working yourself to death again.
Almost all fears related to business are rooted in a fear of failure, and if we aren’t aware of them, these fears will silently control your every move and can ultimately become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Naming the three biggest fears
Whatever is sitting with you right now, I want you to say it out loud. What are your three biggest fears about your business?
The fear that comes up most often or feels the biggest right now.
What's the second one?
And the third? Sometimes the one we don't say is the loudest.
Anyone who doesn't have these fears probably isn't taking this seriously enough.
My three biggest fears when I launched The Founder Life:
1. That I can teach but I can’t do, I won’t achieve success and will look like a failure.
2. That I’ll let people down.
3. That I’ll spend so much time and energy without getting the return that I want and need.
How each fear quietly makes decisions for you
Underpricing
It's so hard to put a value on yourself, because if you're a good person, you want to give. You feel bad for charging people, but you have to remember you are working towards a perfect day. You have a destination that you're trying to get to. Every hour you spend with a client is an hour you're not spending with your family, that you're not taking care of yourself with.
If you’re coming from a corporate job, don't think about the salary or the hourly rate you had. Think about what that that corporation was charging their clients to deliver a transformation to them. That is what your time is worth, not the salary that you got paid. You are being paid for transformation, not for hours.
Saying yes to everything
I’ve struggled with self-worth most of my life, the same goes in business. When we don’t understand or believe in the value that we offer, we say yes when we should say no. This usually leads to over giving, over committing, and ultimately exhausting ourselves. Saying yes to everything is saying no to your true self, it’s the opposite of self-care.
Never hiring
My archetype is I am an architect and a visionary, but I struggle with execution. But running a business, we still have to execute, right? I still have to do social media even though I hate it. So what do we do?
If we're weak in an area that we need to run our business, we find a BFF, your best founder friend. Your BFF is someone that you build alongside. They are strong where you are weak, and vice versa, and what you do is you build together.
But our fears can prevent us from asking or accepting help. Eldest daughters (like me!) know this best. We try not to be needy and value self-sufficiency, believing that to need others is a sign of weakness. But that’s fear talking, and fear is a liar.
Human beings are designed for human connection. We NEED each other, of course in life, but in business too! Since I start accepting help, working with my BFF, my growth has accelerated like I switch to jet fuel.
Together we can go farther, faster and have WAY more fun.
What changes once a fear has a name
Naming fears out loud takes their power down. But it can also feel very vulnerable to name your fears out loud.
It's scary because you feel exposed, like if you say it out loud, it might actually happen, or that you might look weak. But take comfort in the fact that we’re all afraid of failure.
That is why it is so important to stay in community with each other, because it is hard being an entrepreneur. So rewarding, but it's so hard. And we are not meant to do this alone. We're meant to do this together.
Do it afraid, do it messy, do it scared, just do it. Get out there, take that step.
Once I named my fears out loud, I became brave enough to step out of the shadows, announce my business and run full steam ahead, no longer afraid of failure. I became free.
Question for you – Where do you feel stuck in your business?
The fear that got you here is often the one keeping you stuck.
Try This // Plan for the worst
1. Write down your three biggest fears about your business, and one decision each one has made for you.
2. Pretend your worst fear came true and think about how you would respond. Write it down, plan for the worst-case scenario. Often, you’ll find it’s not as scary as you thought it was.
Don’t build alone: The Founder Friends Club goes live on Black Friday, November 27. It’s the home for The Architect app and a community of founders building life first, all year long. Head to www.thefounderlife.com/founderfriendsclub and sign up to get on the list so you’re the first to know when the doors open!
Your BFF,
Tay